Dweezil sauntered over to them with his unique blend of sophistication and nonchalance. Stopping he eyed Squig and Harlan with a gimlet eye and then staring straight at them said, "My my, if it isn't the Lone Ranger and the ever present sidekick, his Holiness the Pope. What brings you to this backwater little place, your Holiness?"
"I, I, I'm not the Pope," Harlan sputtered. "I'm Harlan Katz, Deputy Sheriff."
Squig smiled delightedly as Dweezil hearing the name Katz, narrowed his eyes. This was going to be wonderful.
"Did I hear you say your name was Katz," he hissed, leaning forward with an air of menace, Harlan couldn't help but notice.
"Yes, you did, Dweeze, and I call you Dweeze," Harlan chirped happily, not understanding who he was dealing with.
"No," Dweezil said flatly, "You may not."
"Well on behalf of the entire Katz family, I want to apologize for the sneaky ways of my Aunt Suzette." he continued wrapping a conciliatory paw around Dweezil.
A conciliatory paw that was immediately shrugged off in no uncertain terms.
"I can't thank you enough for closing down that blot on the entire community, Dweeze." He plowed on. "Me and the boss are trying hard to clean up this here place and we couldn't have done it without you buying that cesspit and turning it into something we can all be proud of. Why I wouldn't be surprised if the town didn't name a street or a boulevard after you. Can't you just see it," he stepped away and waved his paw expansively, "Felinerino Street the garden spot of the entire state."
This was not going as planned. Dweezil was looking at Harlan like he was some kind of biblical prophet and not the dumb-ass, annoying big mouth he actually was.
"So, Dweezil said, wrapping his paw around Harlan like they were dear best friends, "I take it you and Squigman have cleaned the house of its resident pests?"
"Well not entirely, Dweeze," Harlan stammered as it began to dawn on him that things might not be going so well.
"Not entirely?" Dweezil asked innocently as his eyes narrowed and his ears went back and he shoved Harlan away "There are miscreants still living in my building?"
"Just tttwo of them." Harlan stammered. He was now wringing his hat in his paws as he tried frantically to think of a way out.
"Just two, hmm." Dweezil responded stepping closer.
"But they're not fornicating." Harlan responded in a rush. "I've been staking out the building and I can promise you there's no fornication going on inside."
"You saw this with your radarlike eyes, did you? Or what is more likely given your puce coloration, is that you, on some moonless night, decided to crawl up the side of the building like a bat and peek in the windows?"
"No sir, Mr. Felinerino I didn't do nothin like that."
"Well then why don't you enlighten me and tell me all about it. I can hardly wait to hear how you can stand there and assure me there's no fornication happening in my building?
"It's like this, " Harlan began.
TO BE CONTINUED
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