After the meet and greet over at the school and a dinner that could only be described as delicious at the Mayor's, Squig sat quietly looking into the fire trying to make sense out of the day's events.  He was in his own apartment.  It was small, only a great room attached to the kitchen and one bed room. And it was located over the Sheriff's office/Jail, but it had this wonderful flagstone fireplace and the town had stocked the refrigerator with food.    For the first time in his entire life, he had his own place.  He looked around trying to decide where he would put his sports posters and Ravens memorabilia.

It seemed as though his entire life had changed in an instant.  He was no longer Squig, the slacker.  He was now Sheriff Igmewkowski and that had a really nice sound.  Of course it had been several years since college, But he knew there were online classes he could take and some books he could order.  It wouldn't take him too long to, as they say, get back in the saddle.

He stretched, yawned, and  as he curled his tail around his legs, he realized  that for the first time in maybe forever he had a purpose.  So he made a mental vow, that he Squigman Igmewkowski, would be the kind of Sheriff this town deserved and he would make Trixie, Annie, Yvette and Dweeze proud.

Squig heard the band before, he actually saw them.  He wasn't sure what they were playing, but he was pretty sure they weren't playing the whatever it was in unison. And as they rounded the corner, he was definitely sure they weren't marching in unison.  They weren't marching at all.  The best word he could come up with for what they were doing was sgraggeling and they weren't doing that in unison.  One was sidling to the left and one was leaning to the right.  Two smacked into each other, and the drummer knocked himself in the head with the drumsticks.  It was pitiful and with each ineffective step, the mayor seemed grow a little bigger and cat he had been standing with on the sidewalk, seemed to shrink into his deeper into his shoes.

Making an instantaneous decision, Squig turned and said, "You know, Mayor, I was in a marching band in high school and in college and I'd be happy to come over to the school and lend a hand."

"You would do that, son," he replied getting misty eyed. "In your free time, you'd go on over to the school and whip that band into shape?"

"Well I can't teach them the music, but I could certainly show them how to move once they knew the tunes."

His next thought was cut off as he saw the gilded sign reading, WELCOME SHERIFF, being carried by two teenage kittens who didn't seem to get along. There was a crowd behind them waiving and cheering and the whole group was heading towards the station.  The kittens were doing their best to march to the music and crowd was very orderly, but Squig had a horrible feeling that a terrible misunderstanding had just occurred.

"Excuse me, sir," he began, "Were you expecting your Sheriff?"

"Why yes he were," Bob exclaimed happily, "And here you are."  

"Me," Squig squeaked. "I think there's been some mistake here.  I didn't apply for that job.  You must be waiting for somebody else."

"No, the powers that be up in Denver said that our new Sheriff would be arriving on the 3:00 train from Denver and here you are."

"But I don't have any experience in law enforcement and I haven't shot a gun in years," Squig tried to explain sounding lamer by the minute.

"You a college graduate, son?"the mayor asked narrowing his eyes and flicking his tail.

"Yes sir, I am." Squig stammered in response.

"And just what was your major?" he asked slowly, laying his ears back.

"Law Enforcement and my minor was Crime Scene Investigation." Squig responded before he had time to think about the implications of this admission.

"And you didn't go into Police work, why?" the mayor hissed.

"Because my roommate and I won a million dollars in the lottery and .."

"You won't be needing much of a salary," the mayor finished for him.  

And with that Bob Histon reached into his pocket, pulled out a badge and pinned it on Sqig's jacket. And lifting Squig's arm up and towards the crowd, announced.  "Citizens of Katz City, I would like you to meet your new Sheriff, Mr. Squig Pigcowski."

And as the crowd waived and cheered, Squig tried to explain, "My name is Squig Igmeaukowski and I didn't apply for this job."

"Is everything ready Paul,"  Bob Histon said looking down the tracks.  The 3:00 train from Denver should be here any minute

"The marching band is ready to go, but I'm afraid we've had a bit of a problem with our twirlers and swirlers," Paul responded, wrapping his scarf a little tighter.  There was a chill wind coming off the mountains this afternoon.  But the sun was strong and it was beginning to look a bit like spring.

"What happened.  You know I wanted everything perfect for our new Sheriff."

"Well during rehearsal, Brandy inadvertently swirled her flag into Kara, who supposedly accidentally swirled her flag right back, knocking Brandy's glasses off, so we thought it might be safer if we just left off the swirlers for now."

"And the twirlers?"

"Well, Mia and Emma had been practicing throwing the batons up in the air and catching them, but during our final rehearsal both were distracted by the boys lacrosse team and somehow managed to toss their batons into the 4H pig pens and now won't touch them.  I had both batons surgically scrubbed by the future nurses club, but they still won't go near them.

"This whole town has been Harlanized," Bob thought to himself with disgust, "But I am going to turn this place around, if I have to single pawedly replace everyone in it."

"But we still have our marching band," Paul said nervously.  His contract was up at the end of the year and didn't like the look on the mayor's face. "And our banner turned out.  Everything's going to be fine, Bob."

"It better be," he hissed back "because the train is here."

Both cats turned and watched the train pull in and stop.  The passenger car door opened and the conductor walked out, pulled down the stairs, and then help a tall, youngish looking black cat wearing a Baltimore Ravens jacket remove his luggage from the train.  The black cat tipped the conductor and then turned and smiled at them.

"It's him," Bob said excited as extending his paw, he hurried towards the newcomer."

"Welcome to Kaza City, Son." he said shaking the other cat's paw. "I'm Mayor Bob Histon."

"I'm Squig Igmieukowski," he replied, "And I'm glad to be here."

And with that, Paul Kirki punched a number in his cell phone and the band began to play.

"Well now that we've had our little moment of hilarity," Bob said smiling, as he watched Harlan slink deeper into his seat, Ms. Sally Alba, Vice Principal of the Katz City School  has more good news to share with us. Ms. Alba would you like to come on up and tell us your news?"

Sally, stood up, smoothed down her skirt and walked over to the podium.  Trying to smile confidently, speaking in public had always made her nervous, she began. "I am pleased to let all of you know that we have hired a Guidance Counselor for the school.  Ms. Yvette Filinerino comes to us with a great deal of experience..."

"What did you just say," Harlan shouted as he jumped out of his seat.

"Ms. Yvette Felinerino comes to us with a great deal of experience," Sally said distinctly as she glared at him.

"Your damn straight she's coming to our town with a great deal of experience.  Experience in selling teenaged kitten into sex slavery."

"Come again," Sally said forcing herself not to start howling with laughter.  This place really was unbelievable.

"It's a mafia plot and you, with all of your high and might learning, just fell into their clutches."

"Oh really, Harlan," would you like to explain this to me." she asked sweetly,  Why don't you enlighten me as to how I fell right into the mafia's clutches.  Does this have anything to do with orangutans, or maybe it's chimpanzees, or gorilla's.  I seem  to recall hearing about a gang that called themselves, gorillas. "

"Don't do it." Bob thought staring at her," don't get Harlan started after I've just gotten him stopped."

"Alright, since you asked I will." he responded, marching up to the podium and pushing her out of the way.

"Folks,: he began, "we just heard how a Mr. Weazel Felinerino has gone and bought himself the Cat House. And now we find out that his sister, Yvette is the new guidance counselor over at the school.  She'll be guiding them all right.  She'll have our pretty teenaged kittens guided right over to the Cat House, where her brother will sell them into sex slavery.  And they won't stop with the pretty ones, oh no they'll sell the fat and ugly ones into a life of domestic servitude.  Our peaceful little town will be a den of crime and corruption."

"Harlan if you don't shut up right now," Bob hissed turning himself into Biggest Bob, "I am going to arrest you myself for slander, disturbing the peace and anything else I can think of that will get your mouth off the streets."

And with that the meeting erupted into chaos.

Mayor Bob Histon looked out at the attendees of his first ever town hall meeting.  He was pleased to see most of the seats in school's auditorium were filled. Pastor Paul had mentioned it in last Sunday's church newsletter and Joe Clawson has posted a full page ad in the weekly paper. He could feel the anticipation, as the citizens waited for the meeting to begin.  This town had been in a real slump since the Pretty Kitty Mine downsized, and his announcement was the first step in his revitalization plan.

"Folks," he began smiling broadly., "I have wonderful news. The Powers That Be up in Denver are sending us a real Sheriff.  And once we have consistent law enforcement in place, I know we'll be in a position to attract new businesses to Katz City."

"When's he getting here, Bob," an elderly cat questioned from one of the middle seats. "Not that we have any crime to speak of, but it might make some folks feel safer once he's on duty."

"Our new Sheriff will be arriving next Saturday on the 3:00 train out of Denver and I want as many folks as possible down at the train station to greet him. Dr.Kirki has already promised that the school band will be on hand and that Ms. DuClaw will have her art students create a wonderful welcome to Katz City banner."

"Why don't we take him down to Madame Suzette's," slurred a drunken voice from the back of the hall.  Them girls of hers could make a feller feel real welcome."

"Don't you know Madame Suzette don't own the Cat House no more," someone piped up.  "She's sold it to a feller from back east named Weazel Felinerino.  Now I ask you what kind of feller would get hisself named Weazel?"

"A gangster,"  a sickenly familiar voice answered as Harlan popped up from his seat like some kind of demonic jack in the box.  "Don't you all read the news.  The east coast is run by gangsters. There's this one gang, the Ornery Orangutans that control a whole major east coast city. They even run the city jail."  He lowered his voice and very clearly enunciating every syllable said. "They've got the guards in that there jail bringing them contraband items secreted in their bodily orifices."

That tidbit of news ran like wildfire through the auditorium as the citizens turned to each other and repeated what they'd just heard. Each one ramped up the horror of the situation, until they had mentally turned Katz City into the type of desperate town featured on tv.  All that was needed was for Harlan to mention vampires and zombies to seal the deal.  Mayor Histon felt his blood pressure rise, his ears flatten back and his tail start to twitch as he watched his carefully planned town hall meeting turn it into an exercise in stupidity. For moral support, he glanced over at Pastor Paul who meeting his eyes, quietly pointed at Harlan, mouthed the words, "prison guard," and then started to laugh.

"Oh yes that's it." Mayor Histon thought to himself, and then pounding  the gavel on the podium. shouted "Order!" Leaning forward, he continued in a very conciliatory tone as he folded his paws, " Deputy Sheriff Katz you just may be on to something."

Harlan swiveled around to face him.

"Let's suppose this Weazel character brings a whole posse of Ornery Orangutans with him when he moves into the Cat House. And then once they're in town, them Orangutans start marching up and down Main Street doing whatever it is Ornery Orangutans do. " He leaned forward over the podium. "Are you with me here, Harlan?"

Harlan, smiling, nodded his head in agreement.

"And I am forced to ask our new Sheriff to arrest the lot of them and toss them into the city jail. Who guards our city jail, Harlan?

"I do."

"So just who would be the feller sneaking in the contraband items, how did you put it, secreted in his bodily orifice?"

"Me," he squeaked.

"Now Harlan, let's be reasonable here, do you honestly think them Orangutans are going to want to smoke a cigarette or anything else once it's been living up your butt?"

"That's right, laugh, " Harlan squawked as the auditorium erupted.  Sinking back into his seat, he thought to himself, "We'll see who's laughing once that Weazel moves to town."

TO BE CONTINUED