"Now, Lyla, honey, I don't want you to worry about having no place to go." Harlan said, rushing over to her side and taking her paw in his. "I can go and bunk in with Larry and Uncle Dave and you can have my place. I only got one key and I'll give it to you, so you don't have to worry about me coming in to bother you."
"Ah Harlan, that is so sweet of you, " she responded looking up at him.
"Sweet, but not necessary," Diane stated emphatically, as she removed Harlan's paw and pushed him away. Then reaching into the pocket of her kimono, she brought out a folded up piece of paper, and unfolding it said, "Because what I have here is a lease, signed by Mr. Felinerino. And it says and I quote, 'Mr. Felinerino can, at any time, give any of the tenants of his building a 30 day notice to vacate. And at the end of that 30 day period, said tenant must have vacated the premises.'"
Looking over at Squig and eyeing him up and down, she continued, "and I believe that you are Sheriff Igmeuwkowski, and not Mr. Felinerino. So until said Mr. Felinerino tells us we have to go, we stay. And once he does, we have 30 days to find a new place."
"Can I have that lease," Squig asked, crossing the room then taking it out of her hands, he looked it over. That was
Dweeze's handwriting on the signature and she had quoted the verbiage accurately. She was right. They had 30 days from the day Dweezil told them to go. The fact that at the time he signed it, Dweezil thought he was dealing with his wait staff and not hookers was irrelevant. They could stay.
"You're right," he conceded, handing the lease back to Diane. "You don't have to leave until 30 days after Mr. Felinerino tells you to. But I want you to remember there will be no, and I mean no fornication on this premises."
"And I'm going to have my spy eye on you," Harlan huffed pointing to his eye. I'm going to be sitting right outside this building watching who goes in and what's going on. You ain't going to be able to sneeze, that I don't know about it."
He leaned forward for emphasis and pointing his finger at them, declared, " and if any of you think that you're going to be able to sneak back into your fornicating ways, like I'm not around, well there will be a price to pay. I'm going to be all over you like white on rice. And you ain't going to have to worry about where you're next residence will be, because the lot of you will be residing in the city jail."
"Harlan T. Katz," Diane said dryly to the girl standing next to her, "hashtag scary, peeping pervert."
And with that the room erupted in laughter, as each girl envisioned what Harlan, with his spy eye on them would look like. In response Harlan puffed himself up again and Squig was so busy trying not to laugh, he almost missed the small white paw waving at him.
"Mr. Sheriff, sir, I have another question, Lyla asked, loudly, trying to be heard above the commotion.
"Yes, Lyla," Squig said fighting back the laughter that was threatening to get the better of him.
"What does fornimication mean?"
Squig stopped cold as his face turned a color of red, somewhere between a tomato and a beet. How on earth was he going to answer this without sounding like a pompous ass or more likely a jerk. Then he remembered something Dweeze had once said, and so he replied, "Well Lyla, fornication is another word for a very familiar four letter word, which starts with the letter f and rhymes with luck."
"Oh, " she responded as the meaning of the word became clear. "Oh my, that might be a problem."
"Diane Tailer, hashtag skankazoid," Harlan screamed jumping up and down. "Diane Tailer, hashtag, evil skankadella."
And with that, Squig clamped his paw over Harlan's mouth and strong armed him out the door, before this situation disintegrated further and he was forced to charge him with inciting a riot.
Wenches to "Hooters" girls?
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